My greatest accomplishment
is surviving the darkness,
To even have the chance to taste my potential actualized.
To even begin to recognize purpose and power in my existence.
I’ve gazed into the abyss,
Received its gaze soul deep… Bone chilling…
Angels and demons passed along bloodlines,
Experiences you wouldn’t wish upon your worst enemy.
Broken and buried, my true essence unknown to me,
Drowning and choking on the illusion of worthlessness,
At the very edge of my limits, many times, for decades.
Humbled by life in ways exquisite and excruciating,
Carved and shaped by loss and dread,
Drugs, darkness, danger,
& sacred moments of love.
Unprotected, I moved through the world exposed & raw, not knowing I deserved to be respected.
Until I was alone at rock bottom,
With nothing but my own essence.
Nothing but the light of my soul.
Nothing but the inner compass, the same innate drive that told me to jump out of my 2nd story window at age 15 to leave home and find my path.
My worst fears have come true many times.
I have faced them and each time something unravels within me.
Conditioning, layers of trauma, the unprocessed rage and grief.
Dissolving and alchemizing ,
As what I used to believe was evidence of my own worthlessness,
Became evidence of my power.
Maybe life had to empty me out.
So I could fill up with God,
Find the King & Knight within myself,
Rescue the Princess and raise her myself to be Queen.
Embody divine union in myself to unleash this creative life force energy.
My own mythology and legend.
Serpentine, this energy writhes through all aspects of me now.
Illumination flooded over the entire story of my life,
Golden threads interwoven through the entangled jungles of trauma and terror,
On looking back I feel only Gratitude….
I see the Divine Order vibrating through even the most hideous nightmares of the past..
I see the depth added to the Masterpiece of my life.
Thank you life for initiating me.
& thank you past me for holding on long enough for us to arrive here…
Crowned & anointed. 👑
Standing tall in my Self.
Living in Love. ❤️🔥
& ignited from within.
P.S. Never ever ever give up.